I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize