just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
