it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
