I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize