He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Even my vagina gasped.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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