Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
