I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
When are your genitals available?
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