There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
