im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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