don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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