So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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