He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
