Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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