forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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