Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
