I cockslap morals
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
