Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
