Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
