Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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