Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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