I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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