So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We need to rekindle our bromance
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Blood and glitter go together right?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize