it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
