im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
