After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
