I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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