omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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