I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
