dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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