I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
