What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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