After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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