I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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