Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
