Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
