Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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