she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
