My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
