he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
