She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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