HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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