Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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