She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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