I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
