I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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