Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
