just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Boobs are out for the taking
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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