I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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