I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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