They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Houston, we have a blender
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
