The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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