i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
