I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
