We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
