Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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