would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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