wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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