Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
