Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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