R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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