Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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