I love black thongs
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
