Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
