When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
