walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
